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Nov. 12 2009 - 9:00 am | 173 views | 2 recommendations | 16 comments

Catholic church threatens to stop feeding homeless over gay marriage

Miss Mary and the Chrome Jesus

Image by Caveman 92223 via Flickr

A few days ago, I wrote about Goldman Sachs’s transition from a bank holding company into a public relations disaster machine. I argued that Goldman’s CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, has been behaving like he wants to be attacked by a ferocious mob.

Now, it appears the Catholic church is determined to unseat Blankfein in the “Inexplicably Evil Organization Most Disconnected From Real People” category.

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Yup, that’s right. If gay folk can marry, the Catholic church refuses to feed the homeless.

Well, that all seems very reasonable. After all, the state would force the Catholic church to perform gay marriages, and celebrate the beastly unions, right?

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

Oh. So this “Please Stop Being An Asshole, You Guys” law is really the thing that has sent the Archdiocese flying off a cliff. The child molestations, and filing sticky-fingered priests from diocese to diocese is all part of God’s grand plan, but showing the slightest bit of consideration for gay couples is just too much.

Beyond being simply mean and intolerant, this is just a stupid strategy for the Catholic church to employ. It may be a symbol of religion, but the church is also a business that needs to expand its customer base, or it will become extinct like Greek polytheism or New Coke.

Young people i.e. potential future Catholics are very tolerant — some might say accepting and supportive — of gays and gay marriage:


And don’t give me that “It’s in the Bible so we can’t change our beliefs!” crap. Religions stray from the Bible’s teachings all the time the second people realize they’re being unspeakably cruel to a society’s sect. The Bible was used to legitimize slavery, and yet we don’t do that anymore, so surely Catholics can make the same jump when it comes to gay marriage.

Yes, the Bible said something that one time about “if a many lieth with a man, he be in really big trouble,” or something, but the Bible also says you’ll burn in hell for eating shellfish, and I guarantee lobster-eaters crowd the pews every Sunday all across this great land.

Second, non-Catholic Christians are the largest group in the country today:

2009 -08-04-consumer-confidence-better

Less than a quarter of all American adults identified as Catholic between January and June of this year.

The Catholic church got so desperate to expand its ranks that it recently offered Anglicans sanctuary under the Virgin Mary’s skirt, supposedly to hide from all of the icky gays and lesbians the Anglican church has embraced (in a Christ-like fashion, some might say).

Anglicans passed on the offer. This includes “heads of churches in Africa and the developing world, where anti-gay sentiment is especially strong, as well as in Canada and the United States.” The message being: we hate gays, but we still prefer to avoid you guys.

As the Catholic church continues its march toward antiquity, I won’t be shedding any tears. In addition to preying on the fears and prejudices of the unenlightened masses, I have no tolerance for tax-exempt pyramid schemes that take money from poor people to build golden houses in Italy for a decrepit former Nazi youth, who now wears a funny hat and occasionally blathers in a dead language about hating gay people, suppressing women, and always — always — refusing to wear condoms.

What’s so strange is that the Catholic church itself seems determined to perish. Attitudes toward gay people are dramatically changing in this country, and yet the church remains stuck in its corner, fingers in ears, eyes shut, refusing to accept that the tide is turning.

Update: In the original article, I wrote that Jesus condemned homosexuality. However, that’s not true. The condemning homosexuality bit is written in Leviticus. Sorry, Jesus.


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  1. collapse expand

    wow, that’s really messed up.


  2. collapse expand

    There does seem to be a death wish at work. But meanwhile, while they threaten to hold back food from the earth-bound homeless (during the Christmas season, no less!), the Vatican has apparently found the funds to investigate aliens. Check out this story:


  3. collapse expand

    Clearly you don’t understand that these people believe they speak for God, that one cannot have a relationship with the lord without their guidance, that one’s redemption and entrance to heaven depends on them. They are above any worldly laws and human concious and have a long history of ignorance, intolerance and cruelty.
    They have even burned their own saints on the stake. Upon leaving the church I was told that the choice was between heaven and hell. It was an easy choice that I have never regretted.

  4. collapse expand

    Interesting. So the District finally gave the Archdiocese a reason to quit providing services to the people of Washington, D.C. Imagine if the Native Americans had thought of “gay marriage” 500 years ago. We certainly wouldn’t have the likes of Sean Hannity or Michael Moore running around North America. Oh, well. Hindsight is 20/20.

  5. collapse expand

    Catholic Charities is second only to the Federal Government in providing social services. They feed the hungry, put crazy people in padded rooms, house the homeless and all that so our governments don’t have to.

    Just think about that the Government of DC is going to have to fill with Catholic Charities gone and how much tax dollars are going to be required for that?

    This isn’t just about the Catholic Church’s hypocrisy. They are holding essential Social Services hostage in order to influence Public Policy. That is sick.

    • collapse expand

      Scuse me, I missed a word.

      This sentence:

      “Just think about that the Government of DC is going to have to fill with Catholic Charities gone and how much tax dollars are going to be required for that?”

      Should read like this:

      “Just think about the void in social services that the Government of DC is going to have to fill with Catholic Charities gone and how much tax dollars are going to be required for that?”

      In response to another comment. See in context »
  6. collapse expand

    I think it’s telling that the city doesn’t think that the church withholding these services will greatly affect the DC population. If the diocese’s intent is to gain leverage in the marriage debate, they may be in for a sad surprise.

  7. collapse expand

    So u like the idea of same sex people bopping each other in the butt? You’re probably queer too, to ugly to get a man.

  8. collapse expand

    Incredible and sad. And inexplicable. And frustrating. It’s almost hard to believe.

  9. collapse expand

    In ancient Israel, people who could not provide for themselves or their families sold them into slavery so they would not die of starvation or exposure. In this way, a person would receive food and housing in exchange for labor. There was no welfare check, and society back then was far too poor to be charitable at a level that could sustain those who could not sustain themselves. You could read what the bible actually says about slavery here:

    From what I understand, the Church does not want to be forced to give benefits to same-sex couples, which they will be forced to due to this discrimination law. They are entitled to their religious and philosophical beliefs, which are just as valid as yours.

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    I co-host Citizen Radio, the alternative political radio show. I am a contributing reporter to Huffington Post, Alternet.org, and The Nation.

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