Five Reasons Obama Can’t Be a Muslim
When Barack Obama was elected President, I congratulated him for having successfully pulled off the global islamic conspiracy (without any support from Muslims). However, a few months into the presidency, it would seem that I was wrong in thinking Obama to be affiliated with Islam. Here are five reasons why, I think, Obama cannot be a Muslim.
5 – Obama seems to get along with the Saudi royals. Most Muslims, including many Saudis, do not.
4 – Obama supports the Chicago Bears. In Islam, bears are najis, or impure i.e. getting licked by one would break one’s ritual ablution.
3 – Obama can’t put on his own traditional clothes. Muslims can do it themselves. (Not to mention that Muslims usually remove their shirt and pants before putting on such clothes).
2 – Obama’s preferred drug was weed. Most Muslims consider drugs haram; while those that do partake of them usually prefer opium instead of marijuana based substances. (Obama also showed a preference for non-Muslim Colombia over Muslim Afghanistan when he opted for cocaine over heroin).
1 – Hard to be a faithful Muslim and a faithless commie all at once.
Honorable mentions via FB friends:
Obama would be ok touching a bill that has pork;
Obama is used to having people worship him five times a day instead of the other way around.