Key One: do a lot of drugs in the '70s

Today at the Huffington Post: Dr. Mark Hyman posts burned-out hippie nonsense with an official-looking “references” list! (Oooh, is that APA style?)

And “integrative physician” Dr. Frank Lipman says Big Pharma doesn’t want you to know that literally every medical problem you might suffer from is caused by a Vitamin D deficiency, and you can only get more Vitamin D from direct sunlight, without sunscreen, unless you live in the northern half of the United States, in which case, during the winter months, you need to buy supplements. From guess who!

Merchants of Death!

Paul and Jan Crouch’s Trinity Broadcasting Network is the TV home of Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, and a thousand other cut-rate televangelists. In 2002, TBN’s Praise the Lord hosted Pentecostal minister and “doctor” Christine Daniel, who appeared to sell her special herbal medicine. Called “C-Extract,” Daniel promised the magical herbs she collected from “around the world” would treat cancer, MS, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and even for good measure, hepatitis.

You can probably guess what happened: she’s left a trail of bodies in her wake.

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It certainly looks scientific!

For some reason (because they are bloodthirsty criminals), Australia has come up multiple times in the course of our modest inquiry into Who Is Trying To Kill You. Here, finally, is proof that they are not all backwards, croc-wrestling, Men at Working fools down under.

The parents who literally killed their daughter by “treating” her severe eczema with homeopathy have been convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to six and four years in prison.

(Oh, hello, Huffington Post! What’s that? You invited “expert in homeopathic medicine” Dana Ullman to Blog his first Blog for your Living section just last Thursday? What wonderful timing! Even your batshit “vaccines cause autism” commenters are not buying it, for once.)

This man took 250 bee pollen pills because some dude told him to.

When Ted Kennedy passed, his position as head of the incredibly powerful Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee (or HELP, though it’s often just referred to as the Health committee) went to Iowa Senator Tom Harkin. Harkin is a Good Liberal. He is also, unlike Kennedy, a complete moron.

In the early 1990s, Harkin came to believe that taking 250 bee pollen pills cured his allergies. And so he used his clout to force the National Institute of Health to begin studying alternative medicine. Millions of dollars and multiple congresses later, they have discovered that ginger is good for nausea but all the rest of it is pretty much bunk.

Harkin believes that every American should have access to quality affordable health care, which is good, but he thinks “quality” health care includes unscientific nonsense like “mind-body healing.”

And it is his new position as chairman of the HELP committee that explains why Arianna Huffington’s favorite snake oil salesmen (Andrew Weil! Mark Hyman!) have been invited to testify before the Senate.

Harkin is hopeful that comprehensive health care reform will pass. But this statement on the bill’s progress should worry anyone who understands modern medicine:

Harkin says all of the bills share several common traits.

“Number one, all would ban insurance company abuses, such as denying coverage for pre-existing conditions, dropping policy holders who get sick,” Harkin says. “Secondly, all would insure quality health insurance for every American while providing subsidies for those who can’t afford it. Third, something I have strongly championed, all of the bills include a sharp, new emphasis on wellness and prevention.”

“Wellness” is code for “bullshit.” Harkin is careful not to specifically mention the specific treatments his version of the bill will legitimize despite all scientific evidence, but it basically means that the government will allow your local homeopath to act like a real-life doctor. Maybe they can sit in on the death panels too!

Huffington Post, this is actually no different from publishing and promoting pitches for literal snake oil. Here is “Jeffrey Bland, Ph.D” presenting a list of both actual medical conditions (allergies!) and those lovable “medically unexplained symptom” disorders (chronic fatigue!) that can all be cured with his patented unscientific bullshit (“Metabolic Detoxification Program,” among other oddly-worded nonsense).

And hello, here’s more anti-vaccine fearmongering!

How many children must die before your bloodlust is sated, Arianna?