Quack To the Stars: Dr. Soram Khalsa
Dr. Soram Singh Khalsa, MD, is an associate physician in the Division of Internal Medicine at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. But that is the boring bit. The fun bit is that after some residencies and internships at lame “Western medicine” hospitals, Dr. Soram Khalsa traveled East and became an expert in “complimentary,” holistic, and “naturopathic” medicines, whereupon he started a fancy Hollywood clinic and took on many celebrity clients with his ingenious blend of actual medicine and bullshit far-East mystical hoodoo. But the good news is, you don’t even have to be a celebrity anymore to throw your money at him! (Thanks, HuffPo!)
You might’ve read Dr. Khalsa (who “regularly shuttles between Eastern and Western methods of medicine to better our understanding”) advising his famous patient Britt Ekland on when it is “incorrect to use Eastern medicine.” (His answer: when you are actually sick, for realsies.)
You might’ve read about Dr. Khalsa, “Hollywood’s ultimate medicine man,” in W, where he explained that (believe it not) billionaires are totally stressed out, and many of them need a doctor who’s not afraid to tell them about the various vague environmental toxins that are making them feel so sluggish and worn out in ways we non-billionaires can only imagine. But don’t worry, Richie Rich, Dr. Khalsa has some herbs that’ll take care of it!
And, hah, most amusingly, you might’ve read, very briefly, about Dr. Khalsa’s clinic in Mark Ebner and Andrew Breitbart’s Hollywood, Interrupted. See, a lot of celebrities have Hepatitis C. And so, for a while, a Mr. Anthony Kiedis was directing them to the famed Khalsa Medical Clinic in Beverly Hills. At this exclusive (and pricey) boutique clinic, miracle workers prescribed expensive tonics of herbs, and Hep-C sufferers sought out the treatment of a “registered nurse” who offered experimental (and wholly ineffective) Ozone treatments. The registered nurse was not even a registered nurse, it turned out, and she doesn’t seem to work at the Khalsa clinic anymore.
So! Here is a real-life medical doctor embracing quackery with gusto. But enough about all that. Dr. Khalsa knows exactly what is wrong with you, no matter what is actually wrong with you: a vitamin D deficiency! Did you know that you almost certainly don’t have enough vitamin D and that is why you will get cancer and autism and asthma? It’s true! According to this wonderful book Dr. Khalsa just read, and wrote:
This understanding has fueled my passion about vitamin D and inspired me to write my book, The Vitamin D Revolution. In the hope of preventing unnecessary suffering and loss of life, I want to spread the word about the importance of taking this supplement every day. I recommend that all otherwise healthy adults take 2,000 IU of vitamin D daily.
But how do you know if you have a vitamin D deficiency? Dr. Khalsa knows of a cheap and reliable way to find out!
As part of my campaign to correct vitamin D deficiency, and in collaboration with Hay House publishing, I have released an easily affordable and attainable at-home vitamin D testing kit package.
Oh no, it sounds serious, you’re probably saying. How do I get a proper amount of vitamin D? Are there foods I can eat, or maybe Flintstones vitamin supplements I could take? Not so fast, chief. Those store-bought vitamin supplements could be anything. It’s best to get all your vitamins from a reputable source. And Dr. Khalsa knows a very reputable source!
Although the majority of the health food store vitamin D supplements are very reputable, there are still some companies out there that are not so reliable. A consumer often cannot tell the difference between the two, and for that reason I have worked closely with a supplement manufacturer that normally makes products only for physicians’ offices. Through our partnership, we have been able to make pharmaceutical quality vitamin D, with guaranteed potency, available at supermarket prices.
Thankfully, Dr. Khalsa promises to perform the public service of blogging about vitamin D at the Huffington Post indefinitely. And look, a happy customer already!