Once Again, HuffPo, Oprah Trying to Kill You
Can someone—anyone—help me figure out Dr. Mark Hyman, of “UltraWellness?” He seems to be your standard-issue huckster medicine man, selling an 11-point plan for total weight loss and happiness via a series of DVDs and books. Also he testified before congress alongside Dr. Oz! Everything he writes is vague bullshit about tossing out the “old, conventional model of modern medicine” in favor of… “whole systems research.”
But, god help me, most of the points in his “9-point plan” to “fix our broken healthcare system” seem to make sense! They are all about nutrition, preventative care, education, and even electronic record-keeping. But I can just tell from his tone (and the fact that he has so many books for sale) that it’s a smokescreen for quackery. And hey, here is the quackery, in a PBS special called “The UltraMind Solution.”
Before I could change the channel, I heard Dr. Hyman make the following comments: “The way we think about disease, mental illness, and our brain aging, actually has nothing, nothing to do with how our body actually works … The way we think about disease is all wrong … the name of the disease tells us nothing about the real reason or the causes of them. Diseases don’t exist.”
Yes, Dr. Hyman. They do!
Dr. Hyman’s “functional medicine” seems at first like a lot of well-intentioned attempts at changing the nature of diagnoses and treatment of chronic illnesses, but then it falls right back into the typical “buy my book and lose weight and cure food allergies” and “your rheumatoid arthritis can be taken care of with a diet” claims of snake-oil salesmen.
And his latest sales pitch, “The 7 Keys to UltraWellness” (are quack doctors so poorly read that they’ve never come across Orwell, Anthony Burgess, Philip K. Dick, or anyone else who could teach them not to use such creepy fucking language?), is, of course, currently the lead story in the HuffPo’s Living section. It is nigh-fucking-unreadable.
But. We learn that Hyman is a former emergency room doctor and “the husband of an orthopedic surgeon.” And throughout, he takes reasonable points—many diseases are preventable and care should take into account a person’s whole lifestyle and background, not just the immediate symptoms—to ridiculous conclusions. Like: we are all suffering from “smoldering hidden inflammation that will kill us until we learn how to control it.” But he gets results!
But within a few months–even weeks–their lives open up again. This week alone, I spoke to a 27-year-old woman who could not lose weight and was constantly tired. She finally lost 20 pounds effortlessly by getting treating her mercury toxicity.
And there was the 78-year-old woman who felt she was on her way out with symptoms of fatigue, memory loss, joint pains, and bad digestion. She now works out every day and is full of energy, simply by treating her nutritional deficiencies and getting back in balance.
And the 30-year-old woman with PMS, migraines, stomachaches, acne, and polycystic ovarian syndrome who is completely better after getting her system back in balance.
And the 47-year-old woman with chronic sinus infections and fatigue who hasn’t had a problem all winter.
And that was just part of one day!
Anecdotal success stories! Yay!
In general, beware anyone offering to sell you the secret the experts don’t want you to know. Especially if the seller has appeared on Oprah.
Maybe someone at HuffPo’s feeling a little guilty today, though, cause they’re also promoting a story by a boring ol’ non-celebrity doctor about how vaccines don’t cause autism.