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Sep. 9 2009 - 11:20 am | 28 views | 0 recommendations | 1 comment

A cyberstalking guide for parents

Little Brother is watching. (From Awkward Family Photos)

Little Brother is watching. (From Awkward Family Photos)

Facebook used to be a place where only college-aged kids resided, but now other generations have moved in, from fetuses to the feeble (Facebook recently added a “widowed” option to its relationship status categories). This means Facebook can now function as a virtual living room. Parents can catch up with their kids by checking out their Facebook activity.

For many parents, Facebook and MySpace are helpful conversation starters, particularly with older teens or young adults. Just ask Cherie Miller, who has seven sons, ages 15 to 28. She says she not only stays in touch via social-networking sites with the ones who no longer live at home; she also learns things about them she wouldn’t otherwise know. “You know how boys are,” says the 53-year-old mom, who administers a graduate-degree program at Kennesaw State University near Atlanta. “It’s very hard to pull conversations out of them.”

Thanks to pictures posted on her 21-year-old son’s page, Mrs. Miller learned he started smoking and whom he is dating. She then talked to her son about the choices he was making, using private messages sent on Facebook. On this platform, she says, “you can get more words out of him. It’s less threatening.” Her son couldn’t be reached for comment.

via Parents and children meet and clash on social-networking sites – WSJ.com.

Maybe the reporter should have poked the son on Facebook.

Some kids are calling this “stalking.” I’ve certainly been guilty of using the label cyberstalker for my mom.

On the positive side, it makes communication with loved ones much easier. On the downside, there are some things we want to share with friends on Facebook that we don’t necessarily want to share with the ‘rents, as well as aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

One option is to use limited profile. Another option is to just ignore friend requests from family members. As one pyschologist tells the Wall Street Journal:

Dr. Bernstein says the danger of monitoring kids too closely through technology is that it may make them sneakier. “As we become better detectives, they become better fugitives,” he says.

But parents, if your kids aren’t that sneaky, stalk away! The satirical Onion News Network has a segment showing you how:


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    A very relevant topic as Facebook becomes even more pervasive in all of our lives! I have gone to some of my friends’ profiles and seen that their parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles have commented on every single one of their status updates. Beyond stalking, I think there is a generational gap on social networking etiquette, where Gen-Yers seem to know the difference between keeping in touch and “stalking.”

    Yes, it’s cool to have your parents embrace social media so that you don’t have to attach pictures to emails every time they want to see what you did last weekend, but I know I would have some apprehension the day I get the message “Your mom has added you as a friend on Facebook” or “Your mom is following you on Twitter.” Since it takes a little bit of time for the adoption curve, I guess you just cross your fingers that they won’t get “limited profile” for a while :)

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    I am a writer, reporter, editor and blogger. I'm an editor at Above The Law, where I blog about lawyers, judges, law firms and the legal industry. Here at True/Slant, I write about our changing notions of privacy.

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