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Jul. 2 2009 - 12:00 pm | 3,467 views | 2 recommendations | 4 comments

How my ass lobster got into the Urban Dictionary

lobsterWhat’s an ass lobster? Well, it’s something I’ve had for about six months now, according to some of the readers/commenters at Above The Law, the legal tabloid site of which I am the associate editor.

More accurately, it’s a comment meme that came into existence in December of 2008, thanks to our Legal Eagle Wedding Watch columnist. It was inspired by this great lede on her post:

Christopher Hitchens has famously declared that “the four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.”

via Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 12.14: Penn Hate – Above the Law

A small minority of the hundreds of thousands of legal types who go to Above The Law for their legal news actually take the time to comment on our posts. When they do, they sometimes provide valuable information, suggest a different angle on the story, or make jokes. They also love using and creating memes. “First!” is a popular one on the site. My personal favorites are “This ship be sinking” (inspired by the quotable former Knicks’ player Sugar Ray Richardson) and Frat Stud (“Guys at my high school used to blog about their ass lobsters all the time. It was no big deal.”)

Sometimes, commenters like to write about the site’s editors. The Hitchens quote inspired a series of comments about me: wanting to go on a picnic with me; wanting to drink champagne and eat lobster on a picnic with me followed by, um, other things; wanting to drink champagne off of me; and wanting to eat lobster from, um, my various body parts. Thus, the “ass lobster” was born.

I’ve been hoping that the meme would die but it appears to have crustacean-like survival skills. And I learned from the Above The Law comments earlier this week that someone has created an entry for it in the Urban Dictionary. Oy.

Ass lobster ( 36 up, 12 down)

An unknown object that protrudes from the rectum of female law blog editors, often resembling a lobster’s claw.

“Damn, if Kash is so hot, why does she have an ass lobster?”

by Elie SotomayOR  Jun 29, 2009

via Urban Dictionary: asslobster.

I’m not on a crusade to have the definition removed from the dictionary. I certainly dish out the personal snark in the course of providing legal gossip. I’m a supporter of an open and free internet. Though feel free to vote the definition down on Urban Dictionary!

If commenters want to talk about us, that’s okay with me. They often remark on my co-editor Elie’s race (as does he on these pages), his love of donuts (though he actually doesn’t care for donuts) and his wake-up time. Female bloggers get slightly different treatment. When readers — who I assume are male — talk about me personally, they seem to focus on my gender. Over the last year and a half that I’ve been writing there, there has been endless speculation about how hot, or not, I am. For the record, I did rate just a little lower than Angelina Jolie in a facial beauty analysis. This doesn’t just happen to female legal bloggers. Figure skaters deal with it too.

What I love about blogs and online news sites is that, unlike with a traditional newspaper, magazine, or a radio/tv broadcast,  bloggers have a direct relationship with the readers. We write. They respond. It brings down the barriers that usually put journalists up on some omniscient pedestal. Oftentimes, I find the commenters informative, thought-provoking or hilarious. Sometimes, they’re just bizarre.

When they veer away from the news and into our personal lives, I feel thankful that I’m not the sensitive type. I have a nice thick skin. Maybe even as hard as a lobster’s shell. Though, for the record, when it comes to sea creatures, I prefer the squid.


4 Total Comments
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  1. collapse expand

    Yes, squid is the answer. According to prominent neuroscientists, T-shirt vendors of some repute, and T/S bloggers whose names begin with V, giant squid are available to straighten out your pesky commenters, July 4th weekend at area beaches, and weekends thereafter as needed.

  2. collapse expand

    Hitchens is right about anal sex. But picnics?? Is nothing sacred?

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    About Me

    I am a writer, reporter, editor and blogger. I'm an editor at Above The Law, where I blog about lawyers, judges, law firms and the legal industry. Here at True/Slant, I write about our changing notions of privacy.

    If you have story ideas or tips, e-mail me at kashhill@trueslant.com. I've hung out in quite a few newsrooms over the last few years. Currently, I can be found in Breaking Media's Nolita office. In the past, I've been found in midtown Manhattan at The Week Magazine, in Hong Kong at the International Herald Tribune, and in D.C. at the National Press Foundation and the Washington Examiner.

    I have few illusions about privacy -- feel free to follow me on Twitter: kashhill. Or friend me on Facebook... though I might put you on limited profile.

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    What I'm Up To

    • Staying Above The Law


      Over at Above The Law, I write about lawyers, law firms, judges and the legal industry.

      We especially like “colorful news.” (Yes, that’s a euphemism for gossip.)

      Check out the site here and my stuff here.


    • Writing with real ink

      While most of my writing occurs online at Above The Law and True/Slant, I do occasionally venture into the world of print.  These are some of the magazines and newspapers that I’ve written for:

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      Washingtonian Magazine

      Time Out New York

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      washingtonian issue for tsThe latest (and longest) “real ink” project: the cover story for Washingtonian Magazine’s December issue.

      While I’m usually a writer and reporter, I’m sometimes asked to play pundit. In November, the New York Times asked me to write a mini op-ed for its Room for Debate blog. In December, BBC radio asked me to talk about Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook privacy settings for its Newshour (19:00 minute mark), based on this True/Slant post.

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