How my ass lobster got into the Urban Dictionary
What’s an ass lobster? Well, it’s something I’ve had for about six months now, according to some of the readers/commenters at Above The Law, the legal tabloid site of which I am the associate editor.
More accurately, it’s a comment meme that came into existence in December of 2008, thanks to our Legal Eagle Wedding Watch columnist. It was inspired by this great lede on her post:
Christopher Hitchens has famously declared that “the four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.”
A small minority of the hundreds of thousands of legal types who go to Above The Law for their legal news actually take the time to comment on our posts. When they do, they sometimes provide valuable information, suggest a different angle on the story, or make jokes. They also love using and creating memes. “First!” is a popular one on the site. My personal favorites are “This ship be sinking” (inspired by the quotable former Knicks’ player Sugar Ray Richardson) and Frat Stud (“Guys at my high school used to blog about their ass lobsters all the time. It was no big deal.”)
Sometimes, commenters like to write about the site’s editors. The Hitchens quote inspired a series of comments about me: wanting to go on a picnic with me; wanting to drink champagne and eat lobster on a picnic with me followed by, um, other things; wanting to drink champagne off of me; and wanting to eat lobster from, um, my various body parts. Thus, the “ass lobster” was born.
I’ve been hoping that the meme would die but it appears to have crustacean-like survival skills. And I learned from the Above The Law comments earlier this week that someone has created an entry for it in the Urban Dictionary. Oy.
Ass lobster ( 36 up, 12 down)
An unknown object that protrudes from the rectum of female law blog editors, often resembling a lobster’s claw.
“Damn, if Kash is so hot, why does she have an ass lobster?”
by Elie SotomayOR Jun 29, 2009
I’m not on a crusade to have the definition removed from the dictionary. I certainly dish out the personal snark in the course of providing legal gossip. I’m a supporter of an open and free internet. Though feel free to vote the definition down on Urban Dictionary!
If commenters want to talk about us, that’s okay with me. They often remark on my co-editor Elie’s race (as does he on these pages), his love of donuts (though he actually doesn’t care for donuts) and his wake-up time. Female bloggers get slightly different treatment. When readers — who I assume are male — talk about me personally, they seem to focus on my gender. Over the last year and a half that I’ve been writing there, there has been endless speculation about how hot, or not, I am. For the record, I did rate just a little lower than Angelina Jolie in a facial beauty analysis. This doesn’t just happen to female legal bloggers. Figure skaters deal with it too.
What I love about blogs and online news sites is that, unlike with a traditional newspaper, magazine, or a radio/tv broadcast, bloggers have a direct relationship with the readers. We write. They respond. It brings down the barriers that usually put journalists up on some omniscient pedestal. Oftentimes, I find the commenters informative, thought-provoking or hilarious. Sometimes, they’re just bizarre.
When they veer away from the news and into our personal lives, I feel thankful that I’m not the sensitive type. I have a nice thick skin. Maybe even as hard as a lobster’s shell. Though, for the record, when it comes to sea creatures, I prefer the squid.